Iris
by Tahiri Solo
Summary: This is a fluffy little Anakin/Tahiri thing set between Conquest and Rebirth. Was written before Rebirth came out, so keep that in mind. Songfic set to Goo Goo Dolls.


Iris  
By Tahiri Solo  
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Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, places and such mentioned in this story. They are property of Lucasfilm. I own nothing and am in no way making any money off of this story. The song belongs to Goo Goo Dolls. Not to me. Also, if this story bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.   
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A/N: This was written before Rebirth came out. I rewrote parts if it to help it fit, but keep that in mind. Please don't flame me if I missed something.   
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She's had a nightmare. The memories of the Yuuzhan Vong "shaping" still haunt her.   
She cried out for me in her sleep, and I half-heard, half-sensed her call.   
I was by her side in moments, to find her thrashing on her bunk, still asleep.   
I woke her up as gently as I could, and as soon as she saw me, she just threw her arms around me and sobbed into my neck.   
I held her, whispering into her hair, calming her with the Force.   
I hate seeing her so distraught. It tears me apart because she means so much to me and yet I can do nothing to stop her pain.  
If I ever get my hands on the Vong that did this to her . . .  
  
I finally got her to sleep.  
She's laying there, blonde hair around her still tear-stained face like a halo.  
She looks peaceful, and I'm relieved to see her relaxed for once.   
I want to reach out and stroke her cheek, but my hand stops midway to her face. I don't want to wake her.  
  
  
*And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now*  
  
  
I can't bring myself to leave her side. I'm afraid she'll have another nightmare, and I want to be with her if that happens.  
It broke my heart, the way she clung to me earlier. Like I was the only real thing in her universe.  
She's too young to be tortured and tormented like this. It should have been me instead of her.  
She doesn't deserve this.  
  
She's stirring slightly in her sleep, and I can't help but notice how her hair shimmers in the faint light.   
Maybe I'm not only staying here because I'm afraid she'll have another nightmare.  
  
  
*And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight*  
  
  
I can't stop staring at her. She looks so beautiful when she's asleep.   
I realized, back before she was captured, that I had feelings for her . . . feelings past friendship. Strong feelings.  
I think I'm in love with her.  
  
But I'm afraid to say any of this out loud, because I'm so afraid of losing her.  
When the Vong had her, I was forced to realize what my life would be like without her . . . and I didn't like it. I'm not sure I could stand to lose her. I don't think I could.  
So I decided not to tell anyone anything. She probably doesn't feel the same way, so it's better if she doesn't know my feelings towards her have changed.  
At least this way we can still be friends.  
Maybe that's why I'm staying here. I can stare at her without getting any funny looks or having her suspect what's going on.  
Whatever this emotion is that I'm feeling, it's so powerful it hurts.  
  
  
*And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am*  
  
  
She knows me better than anyone else does. That's obvious.   
I remember the day before she was captured, what she had told me: "No one knows you like I do, and you don't want anyone to. You want to keep all that stuff in you, where no one can touch it."  
She was right.  
Sernpidal, Centerpoint . . . I've never really told anyone how I felt after both of those times. Or all the other times I've been responsible for people dying.  
But somehow, she knows. And I don't care if she does.  
  
  
*And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
And you bleed just to know you're alive*  
  
  
She still has those scars on her forehead. The ones I had felt them giving to her.  
I wish she would have it removed. I think in a way, it still makes her feel Riina Kwaad when she sees it, and that scares me. I know she says she paid for them and won't give them up, but it still worries me. I don't ever want her brainwashing to take over again.  
I reached out to touch it gently with a fingertip, and as I did so, I'm assaulted by memories.  
The smile on her face after she had decapitated Mezhan Kwaad; the confused, turmoiled look in her eyes, the buzz of her lightsaber in my ear . . . .  
She'd thought that I wasn't real, that I'd left her. I admit it - that hurt, because I would never do that to her.  
And that's what I told her. I said I'd been trying to find her that whole time, that I wasn't a lie . . . that I loved her.  
I'm still not sure what I meant by that, saying I loved her.  
She's never brought it up - either she doesn't remember I ever said it, or else assumes I just meant it in a friend type of way.  
She is my best friend, and I've always loved her, but as a friend.  
Now that's changing.  
But I'm afraid to tell her.  
  
  
*And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am*  
  
  
I sigh, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair away from her face.  
Might as well say it now, when she can't hear me.  
"I love you, Tahiri," I whisper.  
She stirs in her sleep, then murmurs, "I love you too, Anakin."  
  
  
*And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am*  
  
  
I stare at her in shock for a moment, then smile.  
I had the courage to tell her when she was asleep. Maybe someday I'll have the courage to tell her when she's awake.  
  
  
*And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am*  
  
  
I smile again.   
Not today, probably not tomorrow, but someday.  
Someday.   
  
  
A/N: I hope you all like this fic. There really are not enough Anakin/Tahiri fics out there, and I am trying to change that! LOL! This story is also dedicated to Angela, a huge T&A shipper like me, and one of the coolest people I have ever met!!   
  
  



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